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May 18 2013

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ALL TIMES ARE EASTERN STANDARD TIME (EST)
6:00 AM
Real couples therapy. Real puppets. A man criticizes his husband's soft abs; an engaged couple isn't having sex; live-in boyfriends can't stop bickering.
6:30 AM
Real couples therapy. Real puppets. A man is way too close to his boyfriend's mother; two women suffer from "Lesbian Bed Death;" and sensual massage helps a couple reconnect in the bedroom.
7:00 AM
Absolutely Fabulous
Door Handle
Edina's kitchen is burnt down and the remodel process is slow. Eddy is detemined to find the perfect door handle.
7:40 AM
Absolutely Fabulous
Gay
After returning from London Fashion Week, Eddy is upset she lost contact with her son. With the discovery that her son, Serge is gay and living in New York, Eddy decides to use their next trip to New York Fashion Week as an excuse to go find him.
9:00 AM
Real couples therapy. Real puppets. A man criticizes his husband's soft abs; an engaged couple isn't having sex; live-in boyfriends can't stop bickering.
9:30 AM
Real couples therapy. Real puppets. A man is way too close to his boyfriend's mother; two women suffer from "Lesbian Bed Death;" and sensual massage helps a couple reconnect in the bedroom.
10:00 AM
Off Pitch
Go Team Go
The oldies and newbies seem to have issues blending together so Rob and Tim plan a day on the Mississippi for a little team building. It proves to be disastrous and fractures the cast even more with most of the negative energy focused on Rob's direction of the group. And the group stands out like a sore thumb as they perform at a monster truck rally...
10:30 AM
Off Pitch
Just Around The Riverbend
When a cast member can't make it to an upcoming performance, Rob is pressured to step in and learn all of the songs and choreography and he's nervous as hell. GRS has to compete for attention at a local festival when they find out their stage is right next to 30 Porta -Potties.
11:00 AM
Kathy Griffin: Straight to Hell
12:00 PM
Roseanne
Darlene Fades to Black
The usually spunky Darlene, who may have a case of the high school freshman blues, rebels against parental expectations. All she wants is to be left alone in her room. Meanwhile, Becky wants a motorcycle, but she tells Dan and Roseanne she'll settle for a car.
12:30 PM
Roseanne
Tolerate Thy Neighbor
While their next-door neighbors (the Rubbles) are on vacation, the Conners notice the contents of their house being moved out. Roseanne assumes that the men are from the local charity, but later finds out the truth when the shocked Rubbles return to an empty house! (Bob Hope appears in end credits only)
1:00 PM
Roseanne
Trick Me Up, Trick Me Down
It's Dan and Roseanne's favorite holiday, Halloween, and they get in the spirit by scaring their obnoxious neighbor, Kathy, with a gruesome trick. Later, Kathy and her husband unexpectedly show up at Dan's annual Halloween party at the lodge, and Roseanne is sure Kathy has come to seek revenge on the Conners.
1:30 PM
When the Conners' friends, Arnie and Nancy, suddenly decide to get married, Arnie invites an ecstatic Dan and Roseanne to be their guests for the wedding - in Las Vegas!
2:00 PM
Roseanne
Vegas, Vegas (Part 2 of 2)
The Conners are delighted to be vacationing in Las Vegas as guests of the soon-to-be-married Arnie and Nancy. But Roseanne's biggest thrill is not the wedding, but the prospect of finally seeing her idol - Wayne Newton - in person
2:30 PM
Roseanne tries to do the impossible: give up smoking cold turkey while working two jobs and getting virtually no support from her loving family! Also, Becky gets into big trouble for helping Darlene write a term paper for school.
3:00 PM
Once again, Roseanne hosts the ultimate day in anxiety for the extended family - Thanksgiving. Her mother says her father is sick, and won't be coming for dinner, but Jackie and Roseanne don't believe her. They beg her to tell them the truth, and when she does, they get the shock of their lives.
3:30 PM
Roseanne
Kansas City, Here We Come
Since Jackie must drive her truck to Kansas City, she figures she might as well just pay a visit to her dad's mysterious girlfriend of 20 years! Although Roseanne is against the idea at first, she joins Jackie for a very uncomfortable truck ride. But the ride isn't as uncomfortable as they both feel when they're finally standing right outside the...
4:00 PM
The girls circulate a petition to save a 200 year old oak tree which is located on the property of the most hated woman in the neighborhood, Frieda Claxton, who wants the tree cut down.
4:30 PM
Dorothy's old friend, Jean comes to Miami for a visit and Dorothy decides not to tell Blanche and Rose that Jean is a lesbian. Then, after spending time with Rose, Jean begins to fall for her. Meanwhile, a new VCR, prompts Sophia to rent "dirty movies."
5:00 PM
Blanche's father comes to Miami for a visit and announces he's engaged. Blanche is thrilled until she meets his fiancee, who happens to be younger than her. Meanwhile, Dorothy and Rose enter a Miami song writing contest.
5:30 PM
Dorothy's son, Michael, and Rose's daughter, Bridget, each come to Miami for a visit and each of them become a little too friendly for Dorothy and Rose's liking. Meanwhile, Blanche hurts her back in aerobics class.
6:00 PM
The girls' dream vacation in the Caribbean turns out to be far from what was advertised in the brochure. While the girls are away, Sophia romances the gardener.
6:30 PM
Laid off from work, Dorothy searches for part-time work which leads to Blanche getting her a job at the museum. Then fur flies when Dorothy is handed the job of organizing a banquet, the duty Blanche was hoping for. Meanwhile, Rose finds a stray dog at the supermarket.
7:00 PM
Rose places an ad in the personals column and she is let down when she doesn't hear an immediate response. This leads Blanche and Dorothy to begin responding under the name Isaac Newton.
7:30 PM
The Golden Girls
'Twas the Nightmare Before Christmas
The girls each plan to spend Christmas with their families but a series of strange occurrences lead them to spend Christmas together in Miami.
8:00 PM
Meet the woman behind VOKRA - the Vancouver Orphan Kitten Rescue Association. Karen has worked tirelessly for the past 12 years, dedicating her life to a cause so close to her heart - kitten rescue. A decade without even a day off is starting to take its toll on her health. This group of volunteers needs to show Karen they are willing to step up so she...
8:30 PM
The Princess Bride
11:00 PM
The Princess Bride
1:30 AM
In the seventh season premiere, when Sean and Christian win a prestigious award from their alma mater, Sean recalls their college years and endures past pains. Plus, a new patient who self-mutilates due to a genetic disorder comes to McNamara/Troy for reconstructive surgery.
2:30 AM
Christian refuses to perform surgery on a model who wants to drastically alter her beauty. Awakening after a coma, a new patient seeks surgery from Sean in order to regain his lost youth.
3:30 AM
Following a failed suicide attempt, a new patient seeks reconstructive surgery. Christian tries a risky maneuver with Kimber to heighten their marital passion. Sean performs pro-bono surgery to quell his guilty conscience.
4:30 AM
Christian has a crisis of conscience when Kimber's mother visits Los Angeles. Complications arise as Sean prepares for his trip to Africa. A patient requires multiple procedures after an animal attack.
5:30 AM
Real couples therapy. Real puppets. A man is way too close to his boyfriend's mother; two women suffer from "Lesbian Bed Death;" and sensual massage helps a couple reconnect in the bedroom.