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August 1 2015

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ALL TIMES ARE EASTERN STANDARD TIME (EST)
6:00 AM
Dan and Roseanne have been planning a trip to Vegas for what seems like forever and the weekend has finally arrived. But Rosey finds out she's scheduled to work. Now, she can go to Vegas and lose her job, or she can stay at home and lose her mind. Meanwhile, Jackie reverts to her old police officer habits to chaperone a party Darlene and Becky are...
6:30 AM
Roseanne
Her Boyfriend's Back
Dan flips out when Becky and her boyfriend, Mark, borrow his prized motorcycle without asking. But instead of grounding her, Dan gives her the silent treatment. Meanwhile, Roseanne's fed up with all of Becky's sneaking around with Mark and goes to his apartment for a showdown. Becky has no idea what Roseanne is...
7:00 AM
Roseanne
Troubles with the Rubbles
The Conner household is buzzing when the new neighbors move in next door. Seeing the inside of the Rubbles' beautifully decorated home, Roseanne pressures Dan to remodel their eyesore immediately. Also, Mrs. Rubble infers that D.J. isn't good enough to play with her son, suggesting Roseanne is an unfit mother.
7:30 AM
The Conners anticipate a baby boom as Roseanne helps Crystal get ready for her childbirth classes. Also Dan has a near-miss accident at work that causes a worried D.J. to follow Dan wherever he goes
8:00 AM
RuPaul's Drag Race
RuVealed Season 4: RuPocalypse Now!
Season 4 premieres with 13 new queens competing to become America's Next Drag Superstar, but first they must survive drag zombies and the end of the world. With extra special guest judges Elvira, Mistress of the Dark, and photographer Mike Ruiz.
9:30 AM
The Golden Girls
Whose Face is This, Anyway?
Blanche is convinced that her beauty is fading after attending her high school reunion and discovers many of classmates have had face lifts. Meanwhile, Rose is making a home movie for class she's taking.
10:00 AM
While Dorothy and Rose are planning a hospital charity banquet, Blanche falls for Jake, the caterer hired for the event. She quickly learns he's more blue jeans than a black tie which prompts her to foolishly put a stop to their romance.
10:30 AM
Dorothy's daughter, Kate is coming for a visit and has a big announcement. Dorothy is excited when she thinks the announcement is going to be that Kate is pregnant. However, when Kate arrives, her announcement is far from exciting. Meanwhile, Blanche and Rose stay up and watch an "I Love Lucy" marathon.
11:00 AM
Two police detectives stake out the girls' home to investigate the neighbors whom are believed to be dealers in stolen gems.
11:30 AM
While preparing for a friend's birthday party, the girls recall past birthdays, including Rose's surprise birthday party for Dorothy, a surprise birthday party for Blanche and a memory of Sophia's birthday involving her late-husband Sal.
12:00 PM
In this pilot for another series (Empty Nest, obviously the concept was retooled), the girls' friend Renee is feeling depressed and lonely with her children grown up and moved out and her husband's workaholic habits.
12:30 PM
The sex starved alien replica of Burt makes up for lost time with Mary Campbell, who smiles wearily when Chuck's wooden dummy, Bob, complains that the noise of their love making kept him awake all night. Bob is under a strain because of the paternity suit against him. Frightened by the pop up toaster, the alien Burt makes puzzling and disjointed...
1:00 PM
The Major mounts a commando style raid to rescue Billy Tate from the brainwashing Sunnies cult. He, Chester and Donohue are wearing blackface. With Benson, they look like the Four Tops. The raiders run into an armed Sunnie. Donohue distracts the man with a bad joke, and Billy knocks him cold. Then the intrepid band returns home to the anxious Tate...
1:32 PM
Aided by 4,000 year old Saul, the real Burt Campbell tries to escape from the alien space ship and the boring prospect of immortal life among the little spacefolk. With misgivings, he joins Saul in the beamer, a space time travel device. The two suddenly find themselves in Rome, about to be fed to the lions. With a remote control gadget, Saul gets them...
2:04 PM
Released from prison, Eunice's lover Dutch gobbles the wretched meal that Jessica has prepared. Dutch apologizes for his manners as he excuses himself to go "to the can." And while Chuck's wooden dummy, Bob, resolves his problems with his pregnant girlfriend, alien Burt is fascinated by Scotch tape. Danny arrives with Millie, former girlfriend of Mel,...
2:36 PM
After speaking to real Burt by phone, Mary hangs up and is startled to see alien Burt, who has been in the room all along. Millie complains to Danny that the lecherous Burt is pursuing her constantly and may be a nymphomaniac. Meanwhile, Jessica wonders if Chester is having an affair. The signs are all there. He's cheerful and goes to the gym, and he...
3:08 PM
Jessica Tate throws a party to welcome ex convict Dutch into the family, and Millie is exposed to the Tate Campbell insanity. She is propositioned by Bob, Chuck's ventriloquist's dummy, while Chuck combs the carpet for Bob's missing contact lens. She listens to Corinne's woes over her broken marriage to an ex priest, and is reproached by the Major for...
3:40 PM
The food at the Tates' has been wretched since the departure of that jewel of a butler, Benson, now employed by Governor Gatling. But Dutch, Eunice's ex convict lover, has hidden talents and cooks a superb meal. Unfortunately, he learned to cook in prison and can only cater to 360. Mary visits and begs everyone not to laugh when she tells them that...
4:12 PM
Jessica Tate frets because her teenage son, Billy, seems to be studying all the time, but he says he's having fun. When he tells his mother about a hypothetical friend who is having an affair with his high school teacher, Jessica treats it all philosophically until she realizes that Billy is really talking about himself. Then she starts to...
4:44 PM
Facts of Life
Stake-Out Blues
When "Over Our Heads" becomes headquarters for a police stake-out, the girls act as double agents when they help to capture crooks and dodge Mrs. GarrettÆs suspicions. STARRING: George Clooney
5:16 PM
Facts of Life
The Candidate
NatalieÆs outrage over the construction of an amusement park in the quiet little town of Peekskill turns into an all-out political battle that could turn Natalie into the town mayor.
5:48 PM
Facts of Life
Off-Broadway Baby
When Tootie auditions for her first Broadway show, she is shocked to find herself desperately attempting to undermine the competition. STARRING: Stacy Q
6:20 PM
Facts of Life
Star is Torn
Tootie finds it difficult to be sympathetic when rock star Cinnamon (Stacy Q), gets cold feet and backs out of a national concert tour. STARRING: George Clooney and Stacy Q
6:52 PM
Facts of Life
The First Time
Natalie discovers the joys and responsibilities of sexual maturity for the first time.
7:25 PM
Facts of Life
The Beginning of the End Part I
Eastland School is on the brink of financial disaster when Blair decides to purchase the hall of learning in order to keep the Eastland tradition alive. STARRING: Juliette Lewis, Mayim Bialek, Seth Green
7:57 PM
Facts of Life
The Beginning of the Beginning Part II
Blair takes over as headmistress of Eastland and finds herself dealing with students who have more on their minds than studying.
8:30 PM
The Golden Girls
Whose Face is This, Anyway?
Blanche is convinced that her beauty is fading after attending her high school reunion and discovers many of classmates have had face lifts. Meanwhile, Rose is making a home movie for class she's taking.
9:04 PM
While Dorothy and Rose are planning a hospital charity banquet, Blanche falls for Jake, the caterer hired for the event. She quickly learns he's more blue jeans than a black tie which prompts her to foolishly put a stop to their romance.
9:37 PM
Dorothy's daughter, Kate is coming for a visit and has a big announcement. Dorothy is excited when she thinks the announcement is going to be that Kate is pregnant. However, when Kate arrives, her announcement is far from exciting. Meanwhile, Blanche and Rose stay up and watch an "I Love Lucy" marathon.
10:10 PM
Two police detectives stake out the girls' home to investigate the neighbors whom are believed to be dealers in stolen gems.
10:43 PM
While preparing for a friend's birthday party, the girls recall past birthdays, including Rose's surprise birthday party for Dorothy, a surprise birthday party for Blanche and a memory of Sophia's birthday involving her late-husband Sal.
11:16 PM
In this pilot for another series (Empty Nest, obviously the concept was retooled), the girls' friend Renee is feeling depressed and lonely with her children grown up and moved out and her husband's workaholic habits.
11:49 PM
RuPaul's Drag Race
RuVealed Season 4: RuPocalypse Now!
Season 4 premieres with 13 new queens competing to become America's Next Drag Superstar, but first they must survive drag zombies and the end of the world. With extra special guest judges Elvira, Mistress of the Dark, and photographer Mike Ruiz.
1:27 AM
Will (Eric McCormack) makes it his own personal mission to emotionally heal Karen (Megan Mullally) when he suspects that she is more upset about Stanley being alive than she's actually letting on. Surprisingly for him, he discovers a few areas where he needs some healing of his own. Meanwhile, Grace (Debra Messing) becomes the target of rage from gay...
2:00 AM
When Jack (Sean Hayes) learns that Will (Eric McCormack) never learned to swim, Jack insists that he teach Will how. Meanwhile, Karen (Megan Mullally) sets Grace (Debra Messing) up on a blind date with one of Malcolms (guest star Alec Baldwin) friends, but Grace can't stand him or his penchant for bad poetry during their seemingly never-ending...
2:30 AM
Karen (Megan Mullally) is finally forced to come to terms with her feelings for her presumed-dead husband when Jack (Sean Hayes) surprisingly tells her he thinks she belongs with Stanley, not Malcolm (guest star Alec Baldwin). Karen is adamant that she will never forgive Stan and wants nothing to do with him-until Malcolm informs her that Stan has...
3:00 AM
The day before Will's (Eric McCormack) charity auction and carnival, Jack (Sean Hayes) meets and begins dating Baby Glenn (guest star Jason Biggs), who is still riding his fifteen minutes of fame from when he got trapped in a hole for three days in the eighties. The two "celebrities" agree to be auctioned off for charity - Baby Glenn's fans spend over...
3:30 AM
Bewitched
I'd Rather Twitch Than Fight
Although Endora is stunned when Samantha reveals she plans to consult a psychiatrist, she on the best and summons Dr. Freud himself.
4:00 AM
Bewitched
Oedipus Hex
Samantha serves on a fund-raising committee, and Endora casts a spell on a bowl of popcorn, which alters Darrin's work habits and makes him lazy. The milkman and the TV repairman also become afflicted. Sam returns home and finds the hose a shambles, with Darrin and the others laughing the day away.
4:30 AM
Bewitched
Sam's Spooky Chair
Sam purchases a chair that, unbeknownst to her, is bewitched. She prepares dinner for the Tates, client Max Cosgrove wants to purchase the chair. Once a Cosgrove possession, the spooky seat immediately begins making life miserable for them.
5:00 AM
Bewitched
My Friend Ben Part 1
Aunt Clara's mistakenly conjures up Benjamin Franklin to fix a lamp, and Darrin finds it difficult to convince Larry that Franklin is not part of an ad campaign. Ben gets lost and Sam and Darrin and Clara search him out. Inadvertently, Franklin has started an old fire engine, which he slams into a curb. As a result, he's taken to...
5:30 AM
Bewitched
Samantha For the Defense Part 2
Summing up "My Friend Ben" Samantha tells how Aunt Clara, trying to summon an electrician to fix a lamp, produces Ben Franklin instead. Ben is arrested for stealing a fire engine.