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September 2 2014

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ALL TIMES ARE EASTERN STANDARD TIME (EST)
6:00 AM
Happy Endings
The Kerkovich Way
After sleeping with Dave, Alex enlists Jane in an effort to convince him it never happened. Meanwhile, Penny pushes a depressed Max to compete in a scavenger hunt.
6:30 AM
Happy Endings
Party of Six
Is Penny's birthday cursed? The gang is forced to deal with this possibility when they try to celebrate Penny's "29th" birthday and instead face a variety of awkward exes and other potential dinner deal-breakers.
7:00 AM
Happy Endings
Big White Lies
Things spiral out of control after Penny tells a white lie to avoid an irritating childhood friend; Dave and Max's lonely and jealous landlord falls for Alex.
7:30 AM
Happy Endings
KickBall 2: The Kickening
Alex signs up the gang to participate in the Northside Kickball Classic tournament. However, self-appointed manager Max has difficulty bringing his players up to scratch - Dave has a history of freezing at crucial moments after an unfortunate incident during a previous game, Penny uses the tournament as an opportunity to meet good-looking guys and...
8:00 AM
Happy Endings
Four Weddings and a Funeral (Minus Three Weddings and One Funeral)
Everyone suits up for the social event of the year: Derrick and Eric's wedding! Unfortunately, they must come to terms with last-minute wedding party dropouts, a Madonna cover band reunion, and even the sad privilege of sitting at the Skype table.
8:30 AM
Happy Endings
Cazsh Dummy Spillionaires
Alex and Dave try to downplay their relationship by setting each other up on dates with other people. Brad hides his new job from Jane, and Max takes care of Penny while she's in a body cast.
9:00 AM
Happy Endings
Sabado Free-Gante
Dave and Alex's inability to commit to a new apartment proves to be quite a challenge for their real-estate agent, while Jane pulls out all the stops when she takes Penny car shopping. Later, Max shows out-of-work Brad how easy it is to spend a cashless Saturday in Chicago.
9:30 AM
Happy Endings
Boys II Menorah
Max has become a hit on the Bar Mitzvah circuit as an energetic emcee and allows Brad to partner up with him, but not everything turns out kosher. Meanwhile, now that Dave and Alex are back together, they make an effort not to take their relationship for granted.
10:00 AM
11:00 AM
The X-Files
Space
12:00 PM
Scrubs
My Brother, My Keeper
Turk's brother (DL Hughley) comes to town, and makes Carla think twice about getting married in an episode of this off-the-wall medical comedy.
12:30 PM
Scrubs
His Story
Rick Schroder guest stars as a hospital employee with a dirty secret in an episode of this off-the-wall medical comedy.
1:00 PM
Scrubs
My Karma
Rick Schroder guest stars. JD learns the true identity of Jordan's baby, and is sworn to secrecy in an episode of this off-the-wall medical comedy.
1:30 PM
Scrubs
My Own Private Practice Guy
Jay Mohr guest stars. A narcoleptic patient falls asleep when sexually aroused, and all the female doctors use him to test their seductive skills in an episode of this off-the-wall medical comedy.
2:00 PM
A tough, nit-picking new supervisor at the factory makes life unbearable for all the employees, including a fed-up Roseanne. Pushed to her limit, Rosey cuts a "deal with the devil." She'll show him respect and cut out the wisecracks if he'll stop making unreasonable demands on the workers. But a broken bargain leads to the reappearance of the old...
2:30 PM
Becky suffers major public embarrassment at school, when she passes gas during a presentation before her fellow students. To make matters worse, one of the people in the audience is her date for that night. Roseanne and Dan blow all attempts to console her, while Darlene is particularly adept at rubbing salt in the wound. Meanwhile Roseanne makes one...
3:00 PM
Roseanne refuses to support Jackie when she decides to become a police officer. This rekindles an old sibling rivalry that leads to an all out wrestling match in the Conner living room. Meanwhile, sparks fly between two other siblings when Darlene tattles on Becky.
3:30 PM
Roseanne
Guilt by Disassociation
After months of frustrating job-hunting, Roseanne is hired for what seems like the ideal position. But when they find out she doesn't know how to work on a computer, she loses the job on the same day. Things only get worse when she gets home to find a surprise party waiting for her. The party doesn't last long, however, as Roseanne and Dan start...
4:00 PM
Roseanne
Somebody Stole My Gal
Roseanne is offered a temporary job by Dan's boss. This takes her away a bit more than Dan likes, so to smooth things out, Roseanne invites Dan's boss, Burt, to dinner. Poor Burt is a lonely architect with no family of his own, who will do anything to win the friendship of the Conner family. Their innocent dinner becomes a nightmare when Burt spills...
4:30 PM
Roseanne has a difficult time accepting the fact that Jackie is going away to police training camp. As a matter of fact, she tries everything to talk Jackie out of leaving. Meanwhile, Becky decides to take younger sister Darlene to a cool teen party by passing Darlene off as her sophisticated cousin from...
5:00 PM
Will & Grace
Will & Grace & Vince & Nadine
When Will (ERIC McCORMACK) and Grace (DEBRA MESSING) meet Vince's(BOBBY CANNAVALE) best female friend, Nadine (KRISTIN DAVIS), they noticesome striking similarities with their own relationship.Meanwhile, Karen (MEGAN MULLALLY) is still angry with Grace and decides toleave the interior design firm when Jack (SEAN HAYES) comes to her rescueand hires her...
5:30 PM
Will & Grace
Saving Grace Again (Part 1)
Grace (DEBRA MESSING) comes home from a great date and listens to astaticy message she's received from Leo (HARRY CONNICK JR.). She thinksLeo is telling her happy anniversary and that he wants to meet on the top of thePeninsula hotel as they had always planned. Grace hides the message from Will(ERIC McCORMACK), but when Will learns about it, he decides...
6:00 PM
Will & Grace
Saving Grace Again (Part 2)
Will (ERIC McCORMACK), Grace (DEBRA MESSING), Jack (SEAN HAYES)and Karen (MEGAN MULLALLY) go on a road trip for Grace's get away weekend- a weekend devoted to not mentioning the name "Leo." Jack and Karen hatethe car ride and decide to bail on the plan.Elsewhere, when Jack spots Peter (VICTOR GARBER) a "sinfully delicious" manwho Jack remembers from a...
6:30 PM
Scott Woolley (JEFF GOLDBLUM), an old high school classmate seeks revengeon Karen (MEGAN MULLALLY) for ruining his senior year by trying to becomePresident of Walker Inc. After Scott prepares a presentation that wows the boardof Walker Inc.,he takes control over the company, much to Karen's dismay.Meanwhile, Jack (SEAN HAYES) and Grace (DEBRA MESSING)...
7:00 PM
When Kalo's family immigrated to North America they didn't have much, and their financial situation just got worse from there. His sister, who has Down's syndrome, required extra support and his mother had a gambling problem. Kalo, the eldest of the four siblings, dropped out of high school and began to financially support his family. Even though all...
7:30 PM
Relive the movie that started it all! Long before it was a Broadway smash, Hairspray was an outrageous, feel-good comedy from the auteur of OMFG, John Waters. "Pleasantly plump" teen Tracy Turnblad shocks 1960s Baltimore by becoming a dance sensation on TV, but can she use her newfound fierceness to end racial segregation? Starring Ricki Lake,...
9:30 PM
Relive the movie that started it all! Long before it was a Broadway smash, Hairspray was an outrageous, feel-good comedy from the auteur of OMFG, John Waters. "Pleasantly plump" teen Tracy Turnblad shocks 1960s Baltimore by becoming a dance sensation on TV, but can she use her newfound fierceness to end racial segregation? Starring Ricki Lake,...
11:30 PM
Ruthless People
1:30 AM
The X-Files
The Blessing Way (2)
2:30 AM
The X-Files
Paper Clip (3)
3:30 AM
AJ and the boys get honest about the last thing they've licked, who's mind they'd like to change and why Santos thinks Andrew needs to do more drugs.
4:00 AM
World-famous RuPaul's Drag Race audience favorite Ongina emcees this hour-long television event. It's the first ever all-drag stand-up comedy showcase, featuring an all-star line-up representing today's greatest drag stand-up comics. This one of a kind event features the latest comedy from the always-popular Miss Coco Peru, the brilliant and somewhat...
5:00 AM
One Night Stand Up
AfterEllen.com's One Night Stand Up
AfterEllen.com, the premiere site in all things lesbian/bi entertainment presents this comedy special. Part silly, part smart, and all sexy, this diverse group of women bring their relentlessly funny brand of comedy to the stage, featuring the comedians of AfterEllen.com including Liz Feldman (This Just Out), Cat Davis (Cat on the Prowl), Gloria...