April 26 2015

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6:00 AM
It's Valentine's Day and Cupid's arrows go astray at the Conner house. Roseanne is mad at Dan for forgetting what day it is, and Darlene's heart is broken when a boy she likes asks Becky to the school dance.
6:30 AM
Communicable Theater
Roseanne is used to having it tough, but if she makes it through this day it will make everything seem easy. First of all, Jackie is in a community play. But when she doesn't know her lines, she needs Roseanne's help to get her through it. Meanwhile Dan has been hit with the flu and is acting like a baby. And to top it all off, D.J. is getting a merit...
7:00 AM
Dan and Roseanne have been planning a trip to Vegas for what seems like forever and the weekend has finally arrived. But Rosey finds out she's scheduled to work. Now, she can go to Vegas and lose her job, or she can stay at home and lose her mind. Meanwhile, Jackie reverts to her old police officer habits to chaperone a party Darlene and Becky are...
7:30 AM
Her Boyfriend's Back
Dan flips out when Becky and her boyfriend, Mark, borrow his prized motorcycle without asking. But instead of grounding her, Dan gives her the silent treatment. Meanwhile, Roseanne's fed up with all of Becky's sneaking around with Mark and goes to his apartment for a showdown. Becky has no idea what Roseanne is...
8:00 AM
Troubles with the Rubbles
The Conner household is buzzing when the new neighbors move in next door. Seeing the inside of the Rubbles' beautifully decorated home, Roseanne pressures Dan to remodel their eyesore immediately. Also, Mrs. Rubble infers that D.J. isn't good enough to play with her son, suggesting Roseanne is an unfit mother.
8:30 AM
The Conners anticipate a baby boom as Roseanne helps Crystal get ready for her childbirth classes. Also Dan has a near-miss accident at work that causes a worried D.J. to follow Dan wherever he goes
9:00 AM
Much to Darlene's chagrin, the whole family fusses over her when she gets asked to her first school dance.
9:30 AM
Scenes from a Barbecue
Shelley Winters guest-stars as Roseanne's grandmother, Mary, whose wisecracking personality charms everyone, so much so that Roseanne begs Mary to stay with the Conners - permanently.
10:00 AM
Facts of Life
Small But Dangerous
Disregarding Jo's instincts and her warning, Mrs. Garrett and the girls befriend Kelly, a fast-talking street punk, and wind up victim's of the young vandal's scheme to extort protection money.
10:30 AM
Facts of Life
Store Games
The girls resort to espionage in their efforts to save Edna's Edibles from financial ruin, when a competing store woos away all of Mrs. Garrett's customers.
11:00 AM
Facts of Life
The Second Time Around
Jo's plan to reunite her divorced parents hits a snag when her father announces he's contemplating marriage to another woman.
11:30 AM
Facts of Life
The Christmas Show
Blair fails to trick Jo into accepting a monetary gift that would allow her to spend the holidays with her mother, but she does devise an offer in the true spirit of Christmas that Jo can't refuse.
12:00 PM
Facts of Life
The Chain Letter
The girls' haphazard work habits initiate a chain of "horrors" that could lose them their jobs and lead to Edna's Edibles (Mrs. Garrett's gourmet shop) being closed down by the Board of Health.
12:30 PM
Facts of Life
Next Door
Tootie is the only one who may be able to walk a wary seven year old "latchkey kid" out of his apartment when an emergency mandates the evacuation of the entire block.
1:00 PM
Facts of Life
Crossing The Line
Natalie and Tootie's relationship is jeopardized when Tootie questions Natalie's reasons for accepting a date with Tootie's cousin Michael.
1:30 PM
Facts of Life
All or Nothing
Jo faces a harsh lesson in political reality when she's elected to the Langley College Board of Regents and then battles the majority to instill what she sees as some common sense into their decision.
2:00 PM
The queens have to sing in parody music videos. With guest judges Jessica Alba (Sin City) and RuPaul's music producer Lucian Piane.
3:00 PM
The queens' comedy skills are tested as they act as presenters at a glitzy awards show. With comedian Kathy Griffin and fashion icon Isaac Mizrahi.
4:00 PM
The queens star in a mystery behind-the-scenes reenactment series. Pop sensation Ariana Grande and former Drag Race panelist Merle Ginsberg guest judge.
5:00 PM
The queens impersonate celebrities in a bawdy quick-witted TV game show. With guest judges Tamar Braxton (Tamar & Vince) and Michael Urie (Ugly Betty).
6:00 PM
The queens pair up to give each other conjoined drag-twin makeovers. With guest judges LeAnn Rimes and Nelsan Ellis (True Blood's Lafayette).
7:00 PM
Valley of the Dolls
10:30 PM
Valley of the Dolls
2:00 AM
3:00 AM
3:30 AM
4:00 AM
Maude Meets Florida
Maude hires a black housekeeper to prove her liberalism and insists that they become close personal friends. Esther Rolle is introduced as Florida Evans, a conscientious housekeeper who wants to be left alone to do her work. But Maude, determined to prove their equality, insists on "helping" Florida and treating her like one of the family regardless of...
4:30 AM
Like Mother, Like Daughter
Carol learns all about the "wrath of a woman scorned" when she starts dating a man who jilted her mother before she married Walter. Refusing to admit she is still suffering the pangs of a ten year old rejection, Maude pulls out all the stops to ruin the romance. Walter feels a few pans of rejection himself, as Maude recalls the intimate details of her...
5:00 AM
Maude and the Radical
Guess who's coming to Maude's fund raising party for a black militant? Well, it's almost time for the guests to arrive and even Maude doesn't know who is coming and who isn't. When the black guests Maude has invited call to cancel and the guest of honor is late, Maude panics and insists Florida change clothes and act...
5:30 AM
Maude is given a speeding ticket by an eager young traffic cop who insists she was doing 34 miles per hour in a 30 miles per hour zone. In performing his duty he gets the argument of his life. When young Officer Cosgrove follows Maude home to give her a ticket for exceeding the speed limit, she tries threats, charm, and even milk and cookies to talk...