Colton Underwood: "I Thought 'The Bachelor' Was God’s Way of Allowing Me to Be Straight"

"There's no way I can't fall for one of these 30 women," he tells "Logo Live" host Johnny Sibilly.

Colton Underwood is trading the rose ceremony on The Bachelor for a poolside tell-all interview on Logo Live With Johnny Sibilly.

Months after his explosive coming-out and controversial Netflix docuseries, Underwood sat down with his friend and Logo Live host Johnny Sibilly for an exclusive interview. The wide-ranging conversation addresses topics like Underwood's relationship to religion as a gay Christian, his many privileges, and how he thought going on The Bachelor was God's way of ensuring he was straight.

"The Bachelor, for me, I thought was God's way of allowing me to be straight. There's no way I can't fall for one of these 30 women," he tells Sibilly during the 20-minute interview, referring to the women vying for his heart on ABC's long-running, notoriously straight dating competition series. "In those moments, I was just trying to focus. I basically tried conversion therapy on myself. I was so hard on myself because I didn't want to be who I was born to be."

Caleb Alvarado/Netflix

Coming Out Colton. Colton Underwood in season 1 of Coming Out Colton Cr. Caleb Alvarado/Netflix © 2021

As Logo previously reported, the former Bachelor came out as gay on Good Morning America back in April, telling Robin Roberts that this past year forced him to do some “deep reflection.” He said he has known he was gay since high school, and that he was “different” from the age of 6.

“I’ve run from myself for a long time, and I’ve hated myself for a long time, and I’m gay,” the 29-year-old revealed. “I came to terms with that earlier this year and have been processing it, and the next step in all of this was sort of letting people know.”

A former pro-football player, Underwood was a contestant on Season 14 of The Bachelorette before becoming The Bachelor himself on Season 23 in 2019. He was dubbed “The Virgin Bachelor” during his time on the show, with his virginity becoming a major storyline on his season. He ultimately chose contestant Cassie Randolph, but in May 2020, the two announced they had broken up. It was later revealed that Randolph had filed a temporary restraining order against Underwood, claiming he had been "harassing and stalking [her]."

On Logo Live, Underwood admits he has regrets. "I was a shitty friend to a lot of people, and I made a lot of mistakes, and I made people feel really bad, and I put them in bad situations and for that, I am so sorry. So yes, I have a lot of regrets, and all I can do is try to do better next time."

The reality TV alum was also raised some eyebrows with the announcement of Coming Out Colton, a Netflix docuseries unveiled less than 24 hours after his fateful GMA interview. The show follows Underwood as he comes out to his friends and family with help from his pal-slash-"gay guide" Gus Kenworthy. The timing sparked backlash, with LGBTQ activists and cultural critics accusing Underwood of abusing his privilege — and Netflix execs of ignoring his problematic treatment of Randolph.

Underwood says he doesn't take the critiques lightly. "I think there's a lot of responsibility that comes with [the show]. It's also an opportunity for me to help out other people who might not have the privilege and to learn from them, to amplify their voices, to share their voices."

"That's been my reflection when people say, 'You have privilege,'" he adds. "You're damn right I do, and I'm going to try my hardest to make it all worthwhile for everybody and have a positive [thing] come from this."

Watch Underwood's full Logo Live interview below, and tune in for more conversations with LGBTQ artists, activists, and celebrities Tuesdays and Thursdays at 7pm ET/4pm PT on Logo's Instagram.

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