Taylor Swift's New Music Video Is the Gayest Not-Gay Thing We've Ever Seen

Plus: pansexual icon Brendon Urie and countless disgruntled queer Swifties.

When Taylor Swift, country queen-turned-pop princess-turned-Karlie Kloss' "bestie," teased a massive surprise dropping at midnight ET on Friday, April 26, Gay Twitter™ searched far and wide for clues as to what she might be releasing.

Naturally, plenty of LGBTQ women, men, and Swifties alike speculated that the "4.26" reveal was actually the "Blank Space" singer's coming out as queer or bisexual. And there was certainly plenty of reason to wonder. See this epic breakdown from writer Jill Gutowitz of Swift's technicolor mural for Vulture, and check out some chatter from Twitter:

The rumors only grew once Swift revealed that she was, indeed, releasing new music—and her single, "Me!", was a collab with openly pansexual Panic! at the Disco frontman Brendon Urie.

Alas, for my fellow Swifties holding out for the Great Pop Music Coming-Out Story of #20BiTeen, it was not meant to be. Swift hasn't actually come out, although the music video for "Me!"—a melange of adorable cats, on-brand dramatics, and pastel-hued suits in a sickeningly saccharine wonderland—is aesthetically pretty fucking queer.

Am I upset? Yes.

Do I feel queerbaited, even though I absolutely should've known better? Yes, and I'm not the only one—read this play-by-play Shannon Keating penned for Buzzfeed News.

Was my icy cold bisexual heart warmed ever so slightly by Swift screaming at Urie in French about their "children" (her cats)? Also yes.

Taylor Swift/GIPHY

Watch the full video for "Me!" below. (Unlike Swift, it's officially out now.)

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