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Twitter Opens The Library And Reads The Oscars: The 100 Best (And Worst) Tweets

The reading for filth levels were raised high during last night's tweet-athon otherwise known as the 87th annual Academy Awards, which saw Birdman upset Boyhood for Best Picture and Lady Gaga finally solving the problem that was Maria in a gorgeous homage to The Sound of Music.

While the 3.5+ hour show may have dragged, the tweets made it all worth it.

Related: The Queens Of “Paris is Burning” React To The 2015 Academy Awards

Since the library was open, we decided to card catalogue 100 of the night's best reads below.


— bobby finger (@bobbyfinger) February 23, 2015


I can't be the only one genuinely frightened by how close Rosanna Arquette was to Patricia Arquette. #Oscars pic.twitter.com/hvJFklI4f9

— Kate Aurthur (@KateAurthur) February 22, 2015


— Richard Lawson (@rilaws) February 23, 2015


"Is that Emma Stone? She looks like Jaime Pressly." "That's Margot Robbie."

— bobby finger (@bobbyfinger) February 23, 2015


— John Early (@bejohnce) February 23, 2015


Tilda Swinton looks absolutely stunning tonight (Eric Gaillard/Reuters) pic.twitter.com/D8fgLtS3Sm

— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) February 23, 2015


— Gary Janetti (@GaryJanetti) February 23, 2015


Khloe Kardashian just thanked her stylist team then said Selma is the most important film ever then talked about launch of her handbag line

— Matt Oswalt (@Puddinstrip) February 23, 2015


— Chris Schleicher (@cschleichsrun) February 23, 2015


3 days from now, emptying the tuxedo pockets for the dry cleaner. A linty Xanax, a wadded-up speech. Fresh grief. "What's wrong?" "Nothing."

— Mark Harris (@MarkHarrisNYC) February 23, 2015


— CELEBUZZ (@CELEBUZZ) February 23, 2015


Let's mix things up on the red carpet this year by asking every female celebrity if she's a feminist and then picking apart her answer

— Sam Lansky (@samlansky) February 23, 2015


— Patrick Rogers (@AllAboutOrbs11) February 23, 2015


Jennifer Lopez is wearing a dress made out of the skin of the Jersey Shore cast.

— Brian Moylan (@BrianJMoylan) February 23, 2015


— Slade Sohmer (@SladeHV) February 23, 2015


Yikes ....Jennifer Lopez!!! She always gets it right...

— Lisa Vanderpump (@LisaVanderpump) February 23, 2015


— Ricky Camilleri (@RickyCam) February 23, 2015


30 minutes until someone who knows ALYSON HANNIGAN hosts the Oscars!!!

— billy eichner (@billyeichner) February 23, 2015


— andy lassner (@andylassner) February 23, 2015


Not sure why Chris Evans is here, but then again, not going to start complaining. #Oscars

— The Cut (@TheCut) February 23, 2015


— Brian Moylan (@BrianJMoylan) February 23, 2015


Meryl is the most beautiful Upper East Side therapist I've ever seen. pic.twitter.com/qKlfgj4Qi6

— Mackenzie Kruvant (@mkruvant) February 23, 2015


— Butt Stallion (@ChrisMySass) February 23, 2015


this is what happens when you let the theater kids take over

— Sam Biddle (@samfbiddle) February 23, 2015


— Christian Sweda (@csweda) February 23, 2015

I think a cool theme cocktail for tonight is the actual drinking water from "Erin Brockovich."

— Julieanne Smolinski (@BoobsRadley) February 23, 2015


— Julie Klausner (@julieklausner) February 23, 2015


I'm just glad we got to see Neil Patrick Harris's career renaissance happen before Oprah had him killed.

— delrayser (@delrayser) February 23, 2015


— Relatable Quotes (@RelatableQuote) February 23, 2015


Octavia Spencer thinking: why is this white boy bothering me? just leave me alone!

— Jerry Portwood (@jerryportwood) February 23, 2015


— Peter Davis (@PeterDavisNYC) February 23, 2015


"Call your parents." pic.twitter.com/MOxWMEl9f9

— Maggie Serota (@maggieserota) February 23, 2015


— Ryan HULUhan (@RyanHoulihan) February 23, 2015


"Writing a song for a film is difficult. But reading a teleprompter naturally is practically impossible."

— Rich Juzwiak (@RichJuz) February 23, 2015


— Michael Yerxa (@mikeyerxa) February 23, 2015


Adam Levine: Dollar Store Chris Martin. #Oscars

— Lizz Winstead (@lizzwinstead) February 23, 2015


— Louis Virtel (@louisvirtel) February 23, 2015


Chris Pine is getting a little Jack Nicholsony.

— Alex Weisler (@alexweisler) February 23, 2015


— Patrick Rogers (@AllAboutOrbs11) February 23, 2015


NPH is killing. pic.twitter.com/Qpa453MN4d

— Michael Yerxa (@mikeyerxa) February 23, 2015


— Andy Cohen (@Andy) February 23, 2015


Shirley MacLaine looks like she just came from a rehearsal of CATS at some dinner theater where she’s headlining as Grizabella.

— Poison Ivy Carter (@chocobohomo) February 23, 2015


— Jamelle Bouie (@jbouie) February 23, 2015


The "Everything Is Awesome" Number is what Katy Perry's left shark sees when it closes its eyes at night.

— Brian Moylan (@BrianJMoylan) February 23, 2015


— Robert Kessler (@robertkessler) February 23, 2015


annie lenox was so good at the grammys

— Sam Biddle (@samfbiddle) February 23, 2015


— Rob Huff (@rshuffandstuff) February 23, 2015


Everything was not awesome about that strange performance.

— Bethenny Frankel (@Bethenny) February 23, 2015


— Chris Benz (@cmbenz) February 23, 2015


Lingering shot on John Travolta and Kelly Preston was a lot

— Greg Bennett (@GreggyBennett) February 23, 2015


— Page Six (@PageSix) February 23, 2015


I see your orchestra and raise you suicide awareness

— Dan Harmon (@danharmon) February 23, 2015


— billy eichner (@billyeichner) February 23, 2015


This is the most expensive mess tonight

— steven j. horowitz (@speriod) February 23, 2015


— jennette mcflirty (@iamsosorry) February 23, 2015


Just a friendly reminder that Harry Potter never won an Oscar. Apparently, inspiring an entire generation isn't good enough. #Oscars2015

— Professor Snape (@_Snape_) February 23, 2015


— Ira III, Part 1 (@irathethird) February 23, 2015


You in danger, gurl pic.twitter.com/uuXUBW6p45

— Gabriel Arana (@gabrielarana) February 23, 2015


— Ryan HULUhan (@RyanHoulihan) February 23, 2015


Jessica Chastain is a magical scarecrow

— Carey O'Donnell (@ecareyo) February 23, 2015


— Adrian Muniz (@adrianmuniz) February 23, 2015


Anna Wintour take off your fucking sunglasses

— Matthew Risch (@MatthewRisch_) February 23, 2015


— Tim Lyzen (@TLyzen) February 23, 2015


Live footage of Patricia Arquette asking gays & people of color to help her get better pay. pic.twitter.com/oDcIyqbknM

— BlackBroDude (@CraigSJ) February 23, 2015


— Anthony Michael (@tmzanthony) February 23, 2015


the jokes are still bad EVEN IF YOU LET SOMEONE ELSE READ THEM, NPH

— LW (@lindseyweber) February 23, 2015


— Samuel Colt (@MrSamuelColt) February 23, 2015


It's official. I'm bored.#Oscars2015

— Katie Couric (@katiecouric) February 23, 2015


— Adrian Muniz (@adrianmuniz) February 23, 2015


Jennifer Hudson is my favorite seventh-place finalist on 'American Idol' ever. #Oscars

— Alex Goldschmidt (@alexandergold) February 23, 2015


— billy eichner (@billyeichner) February 23, 2015


“Fuck em” “Yeah, fuck em” *Joan Rivers and Elaine Stritch clink glasses*

— Alex Bedder (@itgetsbedder) February 23, 2015


— bobby cannavale (@bobbycannavale) February 23, 2015


did anyone say no to any idea in this writers room

— Christine Friar (@christinefriar) February 23, 2015


— Brice Sander (@bricesander) February 23, 2015


Octavia Spencer, aka The Help at tonight's #oscars, replaced by blonde white lady. Introduced to sounds of Dreamgirls.

— Glenn Dunks (@glenndunks) February 23, 2015


— Logo TV (@LogoTV) February 23, 2015


stop touching me Xenu! idina menzel #theoscars

— Sandra Bernhard (@SandraBernhard) February 23, 2015


— Jordan (@JordanApps) February 23, 2015


"We live in the most incarcerated country in the world." - John Legend "Woooooooh!" - American Sniper producers

— Oscar Raymundo (@OscarRaymundo) February 23, 2015


— V.F. HOLLYWOOD (@vfhollywood) February 23, 2015


Which is gayer: Meryl Streep quoting Joan Didion or Lady Gaga singing Sound of Music?

— Max Berlinger (@Berlinger) February 23, 2015


— Hillary Busis (@hillibusterr) February 23, 2015


#mom pic.twitter.com/x4PYpB563S

— Steven Avalos (@stevenstorms) February 23, 2015


— Levi Michaels (@LeviMichaelsXXX) February 23, 2015


The Oscars tempo though pic.twitter.com/7clQY7ZEYE

— Marc Snetiker (@MarcSnetiker) February 23, 2015


— Alex Borstein (@AlexBorstein) February 23, 2015


"YOU get an Oscar"

— B.J. Novak (@bjnovak) February 23, 2015


— Declan Cashin (@Tweet_Dec) February 23, 2015


Linklater and Beyoncé should hang out.

— Kurt Soller (@kurtsoller) February 23, 2015


— Ronan Farrow (@RonanFarrow) February 23, 2015


This is running so long that McConaughey only did one “alright”

— Alex Bedder (@itgetsbedder) February 23, 2015


— Mike Kelton (@mikekelton) February 23, 2015


Me watching Neil Patrick Harris tonight pic.twitter.com/PxhTi3B0i6

— Hayes Brown (@HayesBrown) February 23, 2015


— Vulture (@vulture) February 23, 2015


Lady Gaga gets her own credit slate. pic.twitter.com/CxZaepmXrH

— nilay patel (@reckless) February 23, 2015


— The Fat Jew (@FATJEW) February 23, 2015


this show is a bore. where's my pizza?

— Roseanne Barr (@therealroseanne) February 23, 2015


— andy levy (@andylevy) February 23, 2015


Poor Leo #Oscars2015 pic.twitter.com/TMwyPbGpjS

— Tara Phelan (@songforlo) February 23, 2015


— Slade Sohmer (@SladeHV) February 23, 2015


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