Grab your khaki shorts and Old Navy Fourth of July sale t-shirts, because a small group of Bostonians are planning the city's first ever "Straight Pride Parade."
Earlier this Tuesday, Assistant Managing Editor Carolyn Ryan of The New York Times shared a screenshot of a Facebook post announcing the city's "Straight Pride Parade," scheduled for August 31, 2019.
The Facebook post in question, uploaded by user Mark Sahady of the three-person group Super Happy Fun America, describes the event as a "a patriotic parade in Boston as we celebrate straight pride." You know, whatever the hell that means.
Sahady also claims that city officials in Boston have agreed to work with the straight pride organizers. Apparently, the Super Happy Fun America team filed a discrimination complaint when the city initially shot down their parade proposal this April.
Naturally, LGBTQ Twitter users had a field day with Sahady's announcement.
One user aptly pointed out that the parade route should probably be a straight line (#StraightRights, you know?) and even drew a helpful diagram.
Hell, even Smash Mouth dragged this parade on Twitter.
Oh—did we mention that Super Happy Fun America claims Brad Pitt is its official mascot? Because that's a thing.
But wait, there's more! John Hugo, Super Happy Fun America's president, is a Republican who ran unsuccessfully for Massachusetts' state Congress during the 2018 midterm elections. And Sahady, the group's vice president, has a very questionable history of involvement at local right-wing rallies.
We have so many questions...