Though its hard to remember a time when Madonna wasn't on her throne, the Queen of Pop turns 59 today.
She's outsold, outperformed and outlasted her rivals and is still kicking ass and taking names as a new generation rises to supplicate at her feet.
Below, we call out 59 reasons we're true blue for Madonna.
Desperately Seeking Susan
Her 1990 VMAs performance of "Vogue"
The best in the show's history.
Her naked ambition.
"Into the Groove"
That sea-green blazer from her Live Aid performance
How she grew up Catholic
"I wouldn't have turned out the way I was if I didn't have all those old-fashioned values to rebel against."
Her hilarious confrontation with Courtney Love at the '95 VMAs
There is no finer comeback than "And plenty of available drugs!"
"Deeper and Deeper"
An honorary coming-out anthem.
Her obsession with Marlene Dietrich
Madonna and Sandra
Our dynamic duo.
She's an unapologetic bitch
"I'm tough, I'm ambitious, I know exactly what I want. If that makes me a bitch, then okay."
Guy Ritchie's video for "What It Feels Like For a Girl"
Vastly underrated (and unfairly banned).
15. "Live to Tell"
Her best ballad.
The most successful "vanity label" in the history of music, generating well over $1 billion for Warner Bros. Records.
Her infamous Letterman appearance from '94
It's actually hilarious.
"All the Way" Mae in A League of Their Own
Her best movie role. (Yes, we know that's not saying much.)
The greatest music video based on a movie, inspired by Fritz Lang's Metropolis.
Liz on Will & Grace
"Cut to me, still talking!"
Truth or Dare
"Do something else! Do my eyebrows!"
The "Healthy" photo shoot
We dare you to say something about her armpit hair.
Confessions on a Dance Floor
Every second of it.
She's kept her kids on track
Rocco's had some growing pains, but by and large the Material Mom has made sure her children have a stable home environment and kept them clear of the excesses of celebrity life. Lourdes is going to University of Michigan, for Christ's sake!
Her response to Sean Penn when he messaged her from the Milk set to boast that he'd kissed a guy
The gayest "Rock the Vote" ad ever
That horsey photoshoot for W
Her appearance on SNL's "Coffee Talk" with Mike Myers
Madonna and Barbra Streisand on the same stage? It's like buttah!
Her tumble at the BRIT Awards
Girlfriend did not miss a beat (though we're sure heads rolled later).
The Madonna drag tribute at the 1999 VMAs
"I was turning my nose up at the whole idea that women aren’t allowed to be sexual, erotic, provocative and intelligent and thoughtful at the same time."
You Can Dance
Bloodhounds of Broadway
An underrated Madonna performance (and movie).
Her Super Bowl halftime show
We know Sean will always be the love of her life, but we felt deep things for this early '90s boy toy.
The kimono in "Nothing Really Matters"
Yes, we know it inspired "kimonogate," but it's still one of our favorite looks on her.
Ex-boyfriends have tried to dethrone the queen with embarrassing old photos and videos, but they've all learned their lesson.
She is smokin' in that little-seen Pepsi commercial from '89
Her crazy-ass hat at the Evita premiere
Her greatest tour.
The "Material Girl" video
Madge showed us she could do glamour as well as grit.
Madonna and Rosie O'Donnell
Remember when they were BFFs for a hot second?
Madonna as a Girl Scout
"I wanted to be a Boy Scout but they wouldn't let me join."
Her second greatest tour, The Girlie Show
"Like A Prayer"
If you weren't alive—or watching MTV—in 1989, you might not understand how boundary-pushing it was.
"I Want You"
Her most underrated video.
A bad girl gone good—with music from Sondheim!
For a half-a-sec Madonna was Japanese—and from the future.
The cone bra
Madonna's collaboration with Gaultier took the brassiere from the boudoir to the art gallery.
Her "Like a Virgin" performance at the 1984 VMAs
Pro-family groups already tried to get the video banned for promoting premarital sex, so when she came out on stage at the first-ever VMAs, their heads practically exploded.
"I remember my manager Freddy shouting to me, ‘Oh my God! What were you doing? You were wearing a wedding dress. Oh my God! You were rolling around on the floor!’ It was the bravest, most blatant sexual thing I had ever done on television.”
"Causing a Commotion"
The best thing to emerge from 1987's Who's That Girl, the song contains my single favorite Madonna lyric—a summation of her essence: "Quit wasting time / Make up your mind / And get into the groove."
The bonkers "Tears of A Clown" show
Her original one-off intimate concert in Melbourne was no laughing matter. The queen of pop dressed as a clown, but performed beautiful version of some of the most underrated ballads from her catalog like "Intervention" and "Nobody's Perfect."