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Broke-Ass Halloween: Ron Swanson

[caption id="attachment_32032" align="alignright" width="607" caption="Stay off the Snake Juice"][/caption]

Screw Halloween, I want to be Ron Swanson every single day. I love bacon and eggs, burgers made out of mushrooms frighten me and I think there is nothing better than a steak dinner. See! I AM Ron Swanson.

You, however, are not. But don't worry because we are going to make you Ron in all his misanthropic glory for just five bucks. Which, to be honest, it probably still too much money in Ron's eyes.

What You Will Need:

Khakis (You got them.)

Sweater (You got one.)

Pillow (You got one.)

Brown mustache (Grow it and this is all Free! Or buy one for one buck here!)

How To Put It Together:

1. Eat only proteins between now and Halloween.

2. Put on khakis and sweater, stuffing pillow inside sweater.

3. Carefully part hair.

4. Apply mustache, trim if you have grown one.

5. Be a man.

And there you go! You are now Ronald Swanson, a fine figure and remarkable government official. Be sure to spend all night avoiding women named Tammy and glancing quizzically at anyone who speaks to you. Also, stay off the Snake Juice.

MORE BROKE-ASS COSTUMES!

ALEXIS STEWART

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