Would You Vote For Mike Cauke For President?

We'd rather have a Cauke in the White House than another Dick.

In a world where loudmouth reality stars and brain-dead neurosurgeons are considered legitimate presidential candidates, it's clearly time for new leadership.

It's time... for Mike Cauke.

A late entrant in the 2016 race, Mike Cauke is big on conservative values (though he seems to love Palm Springs).

According to his campaign site, he supports lower taxes, gun ownership and a balanced budget. And hailing from the tiny town of Cumming, Iowa (population 351), Mike Cauke is confident his rural roots will be an asset in the capital.

"Growing up on the family farm he helped his father castrate hogs, so he’ll know how to cut the pork in Washington and make ’em squeal!"

On a personal level, Cauke was a tight end on his college football team, and says he loves "sports, staying fit, and anything to do with balls or bats."

Though he's apparently never served in office, Cauke still bills himself as junior senator "from the Corn Hole State."

He's already getting ringing endorsements and building connections with power players.

Plus, we're eerily drawn to his campaign logo.

So remember, when you head to the poles polls, think of Cauke!

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