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The 250 Best Drag Names of All Time

Also: What if Romy and Michelle were drag queens?

I love a good drag name because it shows that the drag queen cares enough to label herself with style. In honor of that very specialized art, I have compiled the 250 very best drag names of all time (including a huge grouping that I made up myself.) Let me start by including the marvelous monikers of some real-life queens:

Allison Chains

Amanda Reckonwith

Anita Procedure

April Showers

Barbara Seville

Blake Deadly

Brandy Alexander

Brianna Cracker

Carlos the Uber Driver

Chaka Khanvict

Chelsea Piers

Crystal Decanter

Dixie Normous

Dora Jar

Eileen Dover

Eileen Sideways

Esther Gin

Fibonaci Sequins

Gina Lotrimin

Hedda Lettuce

Heidi Haux

Helena Handbasket

Ida Slapter

Ivy Profen

Izzy Uncut

Jacklynn Hyde

Jenny from the Cock

Liza Lott

Lois Common Denominator

Maci Sumcox

Megan Whoopi

Miranda Wrights

Misty Meaner

Misty Mountains

Mona More

Nicole Onoscopi

Olive D’Nightlife

Olympia Bukkake

Paige Turner

Patti O’Furniture

Rhoda Dendron

Rita Menu

Robin Kradles

Sarah Tonin

Sheila Noya

Sheila Tack

Shelby Late

Shelita Baby

Sutton Lee Seymour

Tasha Salad

Tina Burner

Wilma Titzgro

And of course let’s add Drag Race faves Sharon Needles, Courtney Act, Mimi Imfurst, Kim Chi, and Farrah Moan. I’m also including Rachel Tensions (RuPaul’s character in the movie To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything, Julie Newmar), and Marsha Dimes, Bertha Venation, Virginia Ham, Claire Voyant, and Bang Bang La Desh, which are names dropped in the original play Torch Song Trilogy. Let me also include Olive Theotherreindeer (mentioned in the film Anna and the Apocalypse, but not as a drag name), and Shirley U. Jest and Tess Testosterone (both conjured up in a novel I wrote ages ago).

Katja Ogrin/Redferns

BIRMINGHAM, ENGLAND - APRIL 26: Sharon Needles performs at The O2 Institute Birmingham on April 26, 2018 in Birmingham, England. (Photo by Katja Ogrin/Redferns)

Sharron Needles

But some people just don’t have a knack for coming up with great drag names. Queens are always saying well-meaning things like, “I just thought up a hilarious drag name: Potato Soup!” But that ain’t funny, honey. If Potato was an actual woman’s name, it would surely be better, but as is, it’s just weird, not clever. If you want a food name, then the aforementioned Kim Chi works because Kim is already a woman’s name. Get it? Got it? Good. But sorry, that one’s already taken.

Anyway, here’s a whole bunch more of the best drag names—which I invented with my incredible little drag queen mind. Play safely with them.

Adele Laptop

Alicia Apartment

Aliyah Alone

Amelia Diefor

Angela Mercy

Angie O’Plasty

Anime Wong

Annette Below

Anya Marx

Ariel View

Aurora Borealis

Barbi Crotch

Beah Best

Bess Intentions

Beth Israel

Bette Zaroff

Beverly Wilshire

Blythe Spirit

Bonnie Scotland

Brooke Trout

Camille Ticket

Candida Overgrowth

Carnie Asada

Cathay Pacific

Catherine Wheel

Celia Lips

Celine Cuisine

Cher D. Wealth

Chynna Fun

Clorox Bleachman

Coco Pebbles

Connie Lingus

Constance Craving

Cookie Crumbles

Cora Apple

Daisy Chain

Dawn Patrol

Dee Lister

Delia Hand

Della Katessen

Demi Monde

Deniece N. Denephew

Dionne Quintuplets

Dolly Postpartum

Donna Thedead

Doris Attraction

Dusty Shelf

Eartha Nihilation

Edamame Dearest

Edie Amin

Enda DaWorld

Ella Ella Ella

Elle Train

Enya Buttocks

Erin Gobraless

Estee DaNight

Ethel Nitrite

Etta Girl

Faith Healer

Fancy Feast

Fannie Mae

Frances N. Trouble

Frida People

Gene Pool

Georgia Rule

Gerri Meandering

Gia Hardon

Gilda Lily

Ginger Beef

Gladys Notme

Greta Spectations

Harper Valley

Haya Stranger

Hayden Planetarium

Hedda DaClass

Hedy Discussion

Heidi Salami

Holly Goheavily

Hope Floats

Iman Iswear

Imogen Alda-People

Inger Management

Isabelle Ringing

Ivana B. Alone

Ivy Druguser

Jan Tomorrow

Jane Reaction

Jean Jacket

Jenna Fluid

Jennifer Convertible

Jordan Almonds

Judy Ism

June Bride

Kamala Myhouse

Karen Toomuch

Kaye Why

Kiki Sessions

Kitten Caboodle

Lala Land

Laura Gravity

Lauren Order

Lois Bidder

Lourdes Prayer

Mabel Syrup

Madison Avenue

Mara Lago

Marcy Killing

Margarita Pizza

Marina Del Ray

Marsha DaPenguins

Mary Christmas

Matilda Tickets

Maura DeSame

May Attend

Maya Bad

Melba Toast

Mercedes Bends

Mia Culpa

Milla Peed

Minnie Storage

Mira Image

Molly Addict

Nan Bread

Nana Heyhey

Neely Bottom

Nico Bag

Nita Escort

Norma Behavior

Nutella Fitzgerald

Olive Garden

Olivia Neutron Bomb

Paris Texas

Pat Excuse

Pearl Necklace

Penny Alla Vodka

Phyllis Trough

Pia Mymouth

Pier One

Piper Heidsieck

Raisa Titanic

Raquel Dommage

Raven Lunatic

Reese S. Pieces

Rhetta Magazine

Rosemary Chicken

Rosetta Stone

Rosie Future

Roxy Saturdays

Sade Tripper

Sally Forth

Salma Nella

Sandy Flipflops

Saoirse LaFemme

Scarlet Empress

Selma Belongings

Senta Invoice

Sherry Netherland

Sia Later

Soledad Canyon

Sophie Tucker

Stormy Weather

Sudie Landlord

Sutton Place

Svetlana Turner

Sybil Disobedience

Talia Mother

Tamara Nite

Tami Flu

Tara Alert

Tia Sympathy

Tiffany Lampshade

Tilda End

Tyra Living

Vera Similitude

Virginia Slims

Vita Loca

Wanda Why

Wendy Poplars

Winnie Repeatedly

Xena Phobia

Santiago Felipe/FilmMagic

LOS ANGELES, CA - MAY 13: Farrah Moan attends the 4th Annual RuPaul's DragCon at Los Angeles Convention Center on May 13, 2018 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Santiago Felipe/FilmMagic)

Farrah Moan

And before you start tucking, here’s more! Several years ago, a well-versed drag queen on the scene told me the following drag names:

Ann T. Christ

Carmen Gettit

Ella Vader

Ginger Vitus

Grace Period

Hazel Nuts

Kat Atonic

Ophelia Coxx

Polly Amorous

Rhea Ranged

Ruby Slippers

Sue E. Sidle

Okay! And I even gave you eight extra ones! Surely you can pluck a name out of all those genius ideas and become a star. And for the record, I am now officially Maura DeSame…so get your own drag name!

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One Sings, the Other Sings, Too

Meanwhile, some of these drag queens don’t only get laughs when they introduce themselves, they can tickle you with actual stage work too. Jackie Cox and the aforementioned Chelsea Piers are plumbing the ‘90s memory banks for a fun Jackie and Chelsea’s High School Reunion show that’s a sort of drag Romy and Michelle, with scattered references to Beyoncé and Michelle!

In the romp at the Laurie Beechman Theatre, the two drag queens travel to their high school reunion, while doing flawlessly choreographed cover songs (think Madonna, Shania, Alanis, and RuPaul), deciding along the way that, in order to impress their old pals, they’re going to pretend to be serious businesswomen who invented Instagram. But the school’s bitchy Heathers (played on video by drag trio Stephanie’s Child) bust them, leading to a defiant and proud conclusion, as Jackie and Chelsea realize they’re fine as they are—though that’s not actually the end. The show keeps topping itself, and the two tireless gals are delectable—they sing live from start to finish, by the way—so let me urge you to fuck me gently with a chainsaw if you don’t see it.

I also caught Badassy, the guffaw-inducing show by the comedy trio Unitard, at Joe’s Pub, where the troupe—Mike Albo, Norah Burns, and David Ilku—satirized pretentious wannabes and the deadening behavioral trends they pursue in their decidedly, not-woke bubble.

In the fast-moving revue, the Unis skewer social networks, L.A. protest songs (“The answer, my friend, is blowing Bryan Singer”), the demand for constant consent, the all-consuming nature of hatred for Trump, and people who never look up from their phones, live in places like MiMA, and are concerned about their alkaline levels. I loved the faux commercial for ambulance chasing lawyers who will help you sue if Alexa gives you a wrong answer.

But the best was Albo as a gay who calls his credit card company over false charges, only to have the representative (voiced by Ilku) detail not only everything Albo bought in the last day, but everything he felt, including horny, lonely, and desperate. Fortunately, you’ll only feel giddy at either of these two shows. Got it? Great. Sia Later!