OH NOOOOOO!!!! Given how this episode ends, I’m not sure I can even recap the rest of it, but I’ll give it a try …

Murder Mansion. We seen Michaela and Connor fleeing the scene, and Connor is all, “Say, remember that other time we ran away from a murder? Fun times!”

They run right by Laurel and Wes, who says he’s got to stop them and shows off his gun acting all street but he comes across as tough as, well, as tough as a puppy. It’s adorable.

Two weeks previously … Annalise is picking out a black and white dress, thinking to herself, “I’ll look great in this. Although that white might be tough if I ever get shot in the abdomen. But that will never happen!”

Annalise needs to look her best because guess who’s back? That’s right! Her luvah. No, not that one, the other one. Eve a.k.a. Famke Janssen. She’s back because A.D.A. RBF is accusing Nate of having helped Mrs. Nate die. She wants to have blood samples from Mrs. Nate when she was still alive tested to see if there are traces of Death Pills.

If this whole Mrs. Nate storyline was there as a reason to bring back Eve, then I’m all for it. Because it was looking like that whole Eve relationship was forgotten and had been just some very special lesbian guest-arc stunt to kick off the season.

So Eve's back in town, and she and Annalise spend much of the episode doing girly things together like giggling and binging on junk food and fantasizing about moving in together. At one point Annalise laughs, “Wouldn’t it be great if you threw Nate’s case and he went to jail and you and I could be together?” And Eve is all, “Ha ha ha! Totally!”

But it’s not so funny when it looks like that’s exactly what she’s doing. Wes, who Annalise sent to “observe” meaning "spy" on the Nate proceeding, comes running to Annalise to say Eve seemed to deliberately screw up in court by not cross-examining a key witness, Mrs. Nate’s nurse.

Annalise confronts Eve about this, and Eve assures her she’s got it all under control. She wants Mrs. Nate’s nurse on their side, because Nate is able to persuade her to swap out the blood samples and thereby acquit Nate of the charges.

To celebrate, Annalise and Eve have celebratory sex, and it occurs to me that the only time we’ve ever seen Annalise happy on this show is with her lesbian luvah. I’m really not sure why they can’t just be together for reals, though. Is it because Annalise loves Nate, who clearly hates her? Or because she’s such a mess she can’t handle a relationship at all? Or because they can't afford to have Famke Janssen for more than five episodes?

Anyway, Eve asks Annalise why she’s so interested in that annoying puppy kid she sent to court to spy on her, going so far as to ask if Annalise is sleeping with Wes. Annalise assures her that she’s not THANK GOD! But when Eve says she knows Wes is the student who Annalise is protecting for going down for Sam’s murder, Annalise says, “He’s not just some student. He’s him.”

Eve knows full well who this “him” is and embraces Annalise, and it seems pretty clear to me that he must be a baby that Annalise had placed for adoption so we’re right back to that mother theory I thought we’d given up on. Not sure how I feel about that, particularly given the way we’ve seen Annalise act around Wes at times, but given she’s a terrible mentor why not be a terrible parent too.

There’s also a case of the week ... Annalise’s client is this creepy/nerdy bowtie/glasses guy who … You know what? Let’s just not. Everything else in this episode is so much more interesting, let’s just skip this part, ‘kay?

Bonnie confronts Asher about the Mysterious Past Incident and is furious that it involved a girl getting raped. Asher tries to splain himself, saying it happened at a party he hosted but he was downstairs the whole time.

Bonnie rightfully argues that he can’t exactly plead innocence. He saw a girl go upstairs with four guys, then saw her flee the party crying and THEN had his father help cover the whole thing up.

There’s a really awful scene when the rest of the gang, having overheard Asher and Bonnie talking about “Trotter Lake,” find their way to a video of Asher at the party. They find it hilarious to see Asher being his bro-iest, douchiest, and usually we’d all think so too. But knowing what’s also going on at that party is awful, and Bonnie demands they shut it off.

Later, Asher approaches Bonnie and says he wants to try to make it right somehow, but Bonnie turns him away saying there’s nothing he can do. He responds that he understands that Bonnie is this upset because of what Sam did to her. This makes Bonnie realize that Annalise must have told him this, and that this is the real reason Asher didn’t testify against them, not because he loved Bonnie.

Toward the end of the episode, Bonnie goes to see Annalise and they HAVE. IT. OUT. It’s an amazing scene both in terms of the writing and the incredible acting from both women. Basically Annalise keeps arguing that everything she did is to protect and help Bonnie. But Bonnie argues that by telling Asher about her past, she ruined the one good thing in her life.

Bonnie says Annalise isn’t capable of loving anyone. Annalise shoots back that everything she did shows how much she loves Bonnie. And Bonnie responds, “I WANT YOU TO DIE … Oh, and can I have a raise?”

Okay, so on to the Murder Sibling case … the gang are trying to find evidence to further implicate the “Secret Baby” a.k.a. Murder Cousin. For one thing, they’ve discovered he’s part of the gaming community and therefore likely a murderer. Oh, he’s also posted a bunch of creepy pictures of himself online, so DEFINITELY a murderer and probably a serial killer. Case closed.

Now just to make sure there’s enough evidence, it would be great if they could match up some “Mystery DNA” found at the crime scene with his DNA, and also establish that he was in the vicinity when the murders occurred.

“Here’s proof Murder Cousin was in the vicinity,” a voice says, adding, “And here’s my W2, my 401K paperwork, and my insurance forms. Now where’s my office, and is the coffee free or should I put some money in petty cash?”

That’s right! It’s Oliver! And he’s officially working in their office as part of the team. He and Frank celebrate with a high-five, bringing us all that much closer to the Conniver-Frank threesome we’ve been fantasizing about for a year and a half.

Connor is completely against it. For one thing, couples who work together are always, ALWAYS kind of weird. For another, working for Annalise basically means at some point you’re going to be disposing of some dead body or other. Oliver argues that his other office is boring and no one’s nearly as hot as Frank.

Oliver proceeds to make himself useful, hacking for whomever needs something hacked for any reason. At one point, the room gets 10 degrees colder and he smells sulfur in the air, as a terrifying voice behind him says, “AND. WHO. ARE. YOU?”

Oliver rightfully craps his pants as he meets the intimidating Annalise Keating for the first time. Realizing that he’s the computer guy who’s saved her ass in court multiple times, Annalise thanks him for his services. Oliver says to Conner, “She’s so nice!” as Connor rolls his eyes into the next state.

Back to work and Murder Cousin! Oliver’s specialty, as we know from previous episodes, is assuming everyone is gay and can be targeted through an on-line hookup site. So he sets up an account on “DudeForDude.com” and is delighted that Murder Cousin “spanked” him on it. Now that they’ve connected, Oliver figures they can get him to go on a coffee date and procure some good old DNA.

“You are not going on a date with a serial killer!” Connor says.

And Oliver is all, “No, but you are.” Turns out he used a nice six-packy picture of Connor (screen name: ScruffySexyCool -- I approve!), arguing he’s much hotter than Oliver. Echoing what I’ve been saying all along, Connor says, “Enough with the low self-esteem!” And Frank says, “Seriously, I’d spank you over Connor any day.” That sound you hear is me fanning myself.

Connor refuses to do it, saying it’s way too dangerous. Oliver, like a partner bickering over who's turn it is to empty the dishwasher, says, “Fine! I’ll do it.” I’m guessing he’s doing this to prove himself to the others or something? I’d say if your boyfriend doesn’t want you dating serial killers you should probably listen, although maybe they’re in an open relationship that includes murderers?

So the date is set up, against Connor’s wishes. Staking out the date from outside are Frank and Michaela, who are all for this plan, and Laurel who has some serious qualms, especially since Annalise directly told them not to mess around with their main suspect.

Inside the coffee shop, Oliver is waiting for the date. Wait! That’s not Oliver! It’s Connor! Looking scared as hell. Awwww, he didn’t want to put his boo in danger.

Laurel gets out of the car and calls Annalise, who calls Frank and screams at him to shut this down immediately. Frank reluctantly goes inside and tells Connor the date’s off. Whew! All good. Episode and recap over.

Except … we cut to Oliver going home CARRYING A BAG OF GROCERIES which in horror movies always, ALWAYS means you’re about to be attacked. ESPECIALLY when you’re putting milk away, which is exactly what happens here.

At this point, I’m screaming at my TV, “You in danger girl!” Because MURDER COUSIN IS INSIDE THE APARTMENT!!! “Hello Oliver,” he says, as Oliver drops the milk. NOOOOOO!!!

Flash-forward … as Connor and Michaela run from the house, Wes calls after them, “Stop!” Which is not necessary as their path is suddenly blocked by the splattered body of A.D.A. RBF who, like Dorothy's house arriving in Oz, just fell from the sky.

Looking down on this from up above is … Bonnie.

Oh, who cares? Oliver is going to be OK, right? RIGHT?